A Life of Simple JoyReducing stress, increasing joy one post at a time!

Sorry to yell but it is time for you to stop and take time for YOU! As women, we push ourselves to the limit and beyond. We tend to feel guilty taking time for ourselves. Mr. Diva refers to this as “Chick Guilt.” We keep going like that bunny in the commercial. Unfortunately, when our batteries wear out, we try to keep going. This only exhausts us more. Look around at young moms. How many of them seem exhausted all the time? How many seem to get sick easily? Face it, Divas, we are not doing anyone any favors when we push ourselves beyond the point of exhaustion. No one is going to give us a medal for going above and beyond the point of duty.

So, what should we do? Listen to your body! It will tell you when you need a break. When it starts sending those signals, LISTEN! If you don’t, your body will take stronger actions when you become sick. If you still keep pushing ahead, trying to do things when you should be resting, then you will only get sicker. Do you really want to end up in bed for 2 or more weeks? Of course not!

Take some down time occasionally. Rest your body. Veg out in front of the television. Give your mind and body a chance to renew and discover how wonderful you feel when you get back to work. Doing nothing without guilt is a simple joy you and your family. Try it soon!

I have a confession to make: I plan to work REALLY, REALLY hard setting up our company, get everything moving smoothly, then I plan to do NOTHING! Well, not nothing but I want things to work so well that I can stand back and watch it work. See, I am lazy. Not slothful, just lazy. If there is an easy but effective way to do things, that’s for me! I am willing to work hard today if that means I can kick back down the road. And kick back I plan to do.

I know. Some of you are shocked. Well, laziness is high underrated. Pushing ourselves to achieve one goal after another gets old very quickly. We all need time to sit back and watch the world go by. Think of it: a whole day when you do absolutely NOTHING! You can read or watch videos or just go outside and stare at the clouds. Jesus did this. He would work incredibly hard, then go off to recharge His batteries. He even scolded Martha for working so hard rather than relaxing while she visited with Him.

Laziness may not be the trait you want to make primary in your life but it is often overlooked in our lives as women. Tell you what. This Mother’s Day, tell your family all you want is a whole day of nothing! A day when you don’t have to think about all the things you need or want to get done. Shut down for 24 hours. See how renewed and refreshed you feel when the next day comes around. Laziness may become a habit with you. After all, those tasks will still be there when you resurface!

I love music. I use ITunes and I have created different playlists for the different times of my life. I remember thinking years ago that life needed a soundtrack, just like in the movies. With my playlists and IPod, life now has a soundtrack!

One playlist is called “Happy Music.” It is just feel good music that perks up my mood whenever I listen to it. Another is labeled “Vegas music.” I really loved Vegas. Plan to move there. This playlist gives me the upbeat feeling I have when I go to Vegas. I have music that I exercise to and music I walk to. Music to help me go to sleep and music to wake me up. Music when I want to write. I even have music to use during my presentations.

Music has a powerful impact on our emotions. Some days, I feel down. The only way around this is to get it out of my system so I have music that makes me cry. I have music that makes me laugh when I am done crying. I think it is important to understand the impact different things have on our emotions and life. Music is one of the things I made certain I understood.

What impact does music have on you? Do you have different playlists to use for different times in your life? When no one is around, do you dance and jump around the room with wild abandon like the little girl with the hula hoop? If not, you should! Excuse me. Elvis just came on and it’s time to dance. Viva Las Vegas!

I am working on a new book, well, more of a booklet on the simple joy of tea. I love hosting teas. Find them to be the very best way to entertain friends. Much easier than a full-blown meal and perceived as being more elegant and difficult. Tea may be elegant, even the way I do it, but it is by no means difficult when it is done The Extreme Diva way. I frustrate myself trying for perfection with my writing. I must turn my internal editor off and push ahead. The info in this book is too important and a precursor to my book on the simple joy of entertaining. We need to begin entertaining in our homes more.

I believe women are feeling isolated. Many of us have gone back to work or are working longer, harder hours. We are struggling to keep up with things around the house and with our families. We are coping with financial difficulties. All these things have overwhelmed us and caused us to shut ourselves away. Instead, we need to turn to one another for strength, support and guidance. Women do not function well alone. We are social creatures that need a strong social network to build a strong self esteem. Without that strong network, we lack the confidence necessary to tackle the issues facing us daily.

So, I must get busy. Not for my sake but for the sake of all those women out there needing my help. And I know you are out there!

Chick Flick Movie Night

Take a break with your girlfriends. Invite everyone over for a movie night. Fix comfort food and have your friends bring comforters, throws and pillows so they can relax while watching the movie. What a great night of comfort: warm soup, a warm throw and the warm comfort of your girlfriends.

Menu

• Tomato Soup
• Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
• S’mores
• Popcorn
• Cocoa

Chocolate Friendship Tea

What a winning combination:  chocolate, tea and friends.  This a a great opportunity to show others how much you appreciate their friendship. Teas are an easy way to entertain. While many women believe a tea is a complicated event, it can be the best way to entertain your friends. Tea is a formal snack. It is not a meal. You want to offer a variety of finger foods.

For this tea, you want to set the table buffet-style.  Stick to traditional tea sandwiches, with the exception of chocolate cream cheese sandwiches.  However, the rest of the table is filled with chocolate treats.  For your tea, save time in the kitchen.  Go to the store and bakery.  Look for interesting treats done in chocolate.  The centerpiece of our table is a decadent chocolate layered cake that makes you shudder in delight when you look at it. You can create your own cake. Just use chocolate cake mix, chocolate Cool Whip to ice and chocolate shavings.

Menu

Tea Sandwiches

Chocolate Chip Muffins

Brownie Cups

Truffles

Chocolate Decadent Cake

Vanilla Tea

HOPE: Even when things are extremely difficult, you must maintain hope. This is not a Pollyanna attitude or even Annie singing about tomorrow. Too often, we only focus on today and how bad things are. We only focus on the bad causing us to become more depressed. Depression leads to inaction which only makes the situation worse. Soon, it becomes an out of control cycle that is almost impossible to escape.

No matter how bad your situation is, you must spend time each and every day envisioning a better future. You must work to maintain hope for yourself and your family. You must make the vision strong. You must find ways to make it real. Mr Diva and I have photos taped to the side of our frig to remind us of the things we are working for today. Some days, the vision is the only thing that keeps you pressing forward. But you must ALWAYS be moving forward. Even if it is only baby steps, make them steps forward. If you slip backward, then make up the lost ground and press farther ahead. Keep the vision in front of you, maintain the hope in your heart and mind and soon the vision becomes a reality. Remember, most people quit immediately before they achieve success. Hang on, press through and see the incredible things that happen in your life and the life of your family.

Maintain F*A*I*T*H when life is difficult and you find a strength, peace and determination you never knew existed within you.

TIME: A passage in the Bible tells us there is a time for everything. This includes the way you react to difficult times. When things get tough, some people freeze like a deer in headlights. Other people run around like crazy. So, some do nothing while others try to do ANYTHING! Whatever you are doing, if you have been doing it for an extended time and it is an extreme reaction, it may be time to change tactics. If you have become so depressed by your situation that all you are able to do is sit there taking no action, you need to MOVE! Now, this doesn’t mean rushing around like crazy. Instead, you need to clear your mind and consider your options. Believe it or not, you do have options. You have options even in the most severe situations. This is where your ingenuity comes into play. Calm yourself and think. If necessary, pretend it is someone else’s problem, then apply your imagination to solving the problem. Sometimes, it is necessary to remove yourself from the situation, take a step back to allow you to calmly and rationally develop a plan of action.

What if you are running around like crazy, trying everything, with nothing working out for you? Well, you need to do the exact same thing I said above. You must take a breath, calm your fears and THINK! Begin using logic rather than emotion. All the action you have been taking is just wearing you down. It is also wearing your family down. It may take shutting down for awhile to give you a new perspective on the situation. I often use this when I have become overwhelmed with my work. Granted, I don’t have small children so it makes is easier for me to lock myself away. However, you can find ways to take time away from it all. Even if you just go to bed early one night, it may be just the break you need to clear your mind and approach your problems anew. When thinks become too much, talk to your spouse and arrange a break. Explain why you need it. You should be able to work out a plan that gives you the break you need.
Time is a valuable tool for you during difficult times. Use it wisely and to your advantage.

INGENUITY: When things are tight financially in your family, the one commodity you have an unlimited supply of is ingenuity. Your creativity is only limited by your imagination. This is a time to let your imagination run free. This is also the time to tap the creativity of your family, especially your children. Kids tend not to filter their ideas. They may not know what works and what doesn’t. While some of their ideas may be waaaaay out there, it is also possible you can take those way out ideas and mold them into workable ideas. Adults often become so frustrated and discouraged, we begin to believe there are no workable answers. This is a major cloud to our ability to think creatively. You will find, believe me, you WILL find your kids are an unlimited supply of ideas and suggestions. Present them with a problem, a challenge and ask them to come up with some solutions. Set a time to meet as a family where each child can present their ideas. Then, sit back and take notes. Decide on the most promising solution. If it needs work, work it out as a family.

As I said in an earlier post, you get maximum cooperation when everyone is invested in the project. If you have one malcontent, they will slow down if not halt the entire project. Learn to listen for discontent. Never brush it off. If someone doesn’t like an approach to a problem, dig deeper and find out why. Although I might seem to treat all this like a game, I am dead serious about the whole process. When things get tough financially for your family, it affects absolutely everyone in the family. You may think it affects you and your spouse more than your kids but when something bothers you, it bothers the entire family. Address any concerns no matter how minor they may seem to you. Use ingenuity to address problems, concerns, rewards and the future and see how quickly attitudes turn around for the entire family.

ATTITUDE: Women are the hearts of their families. Your attitude affects the entire family. If you have a bad attitude, an attitude that is negative, your entire family will have a negative attitude. Everyone becomes edgy and angry. When things are on edge at home, things tend to get bad in all the other aspects of your life.  Suddenly, it becomes a building process, an inverted pyramid that drives you deeper and deeper into a hole of depression.

Learn ways to deal with the stress better so you don’t pass it along to everyone in your life. I always advise women to create “pockets of peace.” I know, it sounds very corny but corny works. A pocket of peace is a little vacation that helps you relax. It can be as simple as a piece of dark chocolate to a soothing bubble bath. Even some deep breathing works. You need to find a trigger that soothes you in a very short period of time. If all else fails, wait until everyone goes to bed, sit alone in the dark and cry, cry, cry. Get it out of your system. Yes, I know, it stinks but you are the grown up in this situation so you need to suck it up.

In addition, you must pray. My husband and I always pray together for added strength and protection. Pray together as a family. The more people praying, the more positive the attitude of everyone. Maintain a positive attitude and see those around respond.