A Life of Simple JoyReducing stress, increasing joy one post at a time!

Sorry to yell but it is time for you to stop and take time for YOU! As women, we push ourselves to the limit and beyond. We tend to feel guilty taking time for ourselves. Mr. Diva refers to this as “Chick Guilt.” We keep going like that bunny in the commercial. Unfortunately, when our batteries wear out, we try to keep going. This only exhausts us more. Look around at young moms. How many of them seem exhausted all the time? How many seem to get sick easily? Face it, Divas, we are not doing anyone any favors when we push ourselves beyond the point of exhaustion. No one is going to give us a medal for going above and beyond the point of duty.

So, what should we do? Listen to your body! It will tell you when you need a break. When it starts sending those signals, LISTEN! If you don’t, your body will take stronger actions when you become sick. If you still keep pushing ahead, trying to do things when you should be resting, then you will only get sicker. Do you really want to end up in bed for 2 or more weeks? Of course not!

Take some down time occasionally. Rest your body. Veg out in front of the television. Give your mind and body a chance to renew and discover how wonderful you feel when you get back to work. Doing nothing without guilt is a simple joy you and your family. Try it soon!

I have a confession to make: I plan to work REALLY, REALLY hard setting up our company, get everything moving smoothly, then I plan to do NOTHING! Well, not nothing but I want things to work so well that I can stand back and watch it work. See, I am lazy. Not slothful, just lazy. If there is an easy but effective way to do things, that’s for me! I am willing to work hard today if that means I can kick back down the road. And kick back I plan to do.

I know. Some of you are shocked. Well, laziness is high underrated. Pushing ourselves to achieve one goal after another gets old very quickly. We all need time to sit back and watch the world go by. Think of it: a whole day when you do absolutely NOTHING! You can read or watch videos or just go outside and stare at the clouds. Jesus did this. He would work incredibly hard, then go off to recharge His batteries. He even scolded Martha for working so hard rather than relaxing while she visited with Him.

Laziness may not be the trait you want to make primary in your life but it is often overlooked in our lives as women. Tell you what. This Mother’s Day, tell your family all you want is a whole day of nothing! A day when you don’t have to think about all the things you need or want to get done. Shut down for 24 hours. See how renewed and refreshed you feel when the next day comes around. Laziness may become a habit with you. After all, those tasks will still be there when you resurface!

When I was growing up, we didn’t have a car. I was raised by my mom and grandmother and they couldn’t afford a car. Didn’t know how to drive, either. Needless to say, I walked a lot as a kid. I still enjoy walking. I get lost in my thoughts when I walk. time has taught me to walk on a path with no traffic rather than on the street when I need to think. Too many times, I found myself blocks away with no idea how I got there. Which meant I had crossed street without paying attention. YIKES!

These days, I have 2 places I prefer to walk. One is around our neighborhood in Old Towne Orange. It is a large historic district and the houses are fabulous. I walk around the neighborhood when I just need to get out and away from things for awhile. When I need to think, I go down the street to Hart Park. There is a path that goes around the ball fields in the park. A hill is built into the path so it gives me a workout. The park is always busy but quiet enough to allow me to think.

I wander around the path, sorting out my thoughts and ideas. I like to pray as I walk, asking for guidance and clarity. Some days, I lose track of the number of laps I take around the ball fields. I figure this is a good thing. Getting out of myself, being outside, surrounded by other people in various activities. When I finish, I am able to go home and return to the tasks at hand. I have a fresh perspective and I feel more grounded. The fresh air and exercise calm me and give me greater focus.

While I don’t walk most places these days, it’s nice to know I have not lost my love for getting around on foot. That is a simple joy I hope to continue the rest of my life.

We had rain last week. In the rest of the country, rain in the spring is a common occurrence. In southern California, spring rain is not common. Some years, rain isn’t common at any time. That’s why I enjoy it so much. Rain tends to drop the temperature so it seems like autumn even in the spring. I love to sit on our front porch with a book (usually a mystery), a cup of hot coffee and my throw. I snuggle up in a chair and try to read. I am distracted by the rain. I watch the birds on the lawn feasting on the bugs brought to the surface by the rain. I enjoy the smell of the damp earth. I listen to the hiss of tires on the wet street.

Sometimes, I wander down to the park down the street from us. The parking lot in the park becomes a runoff when the rain is heavy. I like to stand on the bridge and watch the water rush over the rocks.

Rain also makes me want to nap. Curling up under the comforter with the window open above my head, I listen to the rain hit the driveway and grass outside. The cool, damp air makes me drift off to sleep. Rain may not come often so I take advantage of it when it visits. A simple joy any time of the year.

I sometimes think naps were created for Sundays… or is it the other way around? No matter. Some days, we simply need or want a nap. Take cool rainy days. There is nothing better than snuggling up with the window slightly cracked, drifting off to sleep to the sound of gently falling rain. Then there are warm summer days. How refreshing it is to take a nap after a warm day spent outside. I think naps give our bodies a chance to rebuild and renew when the weather is warm. The heat seems to take a lot out of all of us and a nice nap puts it all right back.

There are tricks to taking a nap, though. I try to avoid falling into a deep long sleep. This makes me groggy the rest of the evening and sometimes makes it tough to fall asleep that night. All I want is a brief sleep to refresh me for the afternoon. I like to have the fan on no matter the time of year. The fan creates white noise, shutting out the sounds from outside. The fan also cools off the room, making me sleepy. I don’t like to lie down right after lunch since I don’t want to sleep on a full stomach. Sometimes, I read a bit but often, I just close my eyes and drift off.

There are days when I don’t sleep but I do relax and allow my mind to solve any problems that I am unable to solve when I am fully awake.

Most of all, a nap is just a great treat during the day. A simple joy that gives me a great afternoon and evening.

I love music. I use ITunes and I have created different playlists for the different times of my life. I remember thinking years ago that life needed a soundtrack, just like in the movies. With my playlists and IPod, life now has a soundtrack!

One playlist is called “Happy Music.” It is just feel good music that perks up my mood whenever I listen to it. Another is labeled “Vegas music.” I really loved Vegas. Plan to move there. This playlist gives me the upbeat feeling I have when I go to Vegas. I have music that I exercise to and music I walk to. Music to help me go to sleep and music to wake me up. Music when I want to write. I even have music to use during my presentations.

Music has a powerful impact on our emotions. Some days, I feel down. The only way around this is to get it out of my system so I have music that makes me cry. I have music that makes me laugh when I am done crying. I think it is important to understand the impact different things have on our emotions and life. Music is one of the things I made certain I understood.

What impact does music have on you? Do you have different playlists to use for different times in your life? When no one is around, do you dance and jump around the room with wild abandon like the little girl with the hula hoop? If not, you should! Excuse me. Elvis just came on and it’s time to dance. Viva Las Vegas!

Enjoy the Spring issue of Simple Joy!

Mr Diva works Saturday & Sunday. Today, he went into work later so we were able to enjoy a fabulous breakfast together. I know, it sound conceited of me to say that since If made breakfast but it was indeed fabulous. Nothing fancy but very good.

I made sausage links and pancakes. I used the microwave to get the sausage started and then browned them in a pan. I use the griddle side of my waffle iron to make my pancake. Just began using the griddle recently and find it is the very best way to cook my pancakes. I make great pancakes and they are sooo easy to make.

I like to use a “complete” pancake mix that only requires adding water. Started using this type of mix on camping trips and find I like it much better than the traditional mixes. Instead of water, I use club soda. Just use the same amount of soda as water called for in the recipe.  Use a bigger bowl because the mixture foams up when you add the club soda. The soda makes the mixture bubbly and the pancakes lighter.

I used to have problems with my pancakes being underdone in the center. Most instructions on the box say to flip the pancake when it begins bubbling lots. Instead, wait until the pancake begins to look dry on the top. It should be almost completely cooked when you flip it. All that needs to be done is for the pancake to brown on the second side.

Briefly heat the syrup in the microwave. Keeps the pancakes nice and hot. As a subtle touch, add flavoring to your pancake mix. Today, I added Bourbon vanilla. Comes from the Bourbon region of France. Has a stronger taste that regular vanilla and adds a wonderful flavor to your pancakes.

This was a great and relaxing way to begin our day. A Simple Joy for Mr Diva and me!

TIME: A passage in the Bible tells us there is a time for everything. This includes the way you react to difficult times. When things get tough, some people freeze like a deer in headlights. Other people run around like crazy. So, some do nothing while others try to do ANYTHING! Whatever you are doing, if you have been doing it for an extended time and it is an extreme reaction, it may be time to change tactics. If you have become so depressed by your situation that all you are able to do is sit there taking no action, you need to MOVE! Now, this doesn’t mean rushing around like crazy. Instead, you need to clear your mind and consider your options. Believe it or not, you do have options. You have options even in the most severe situations. This is where your ingenuity comes into play. Calm yourself and think. If necessary, pretend it is someone else’s problem, then apply your imagination to solving the problem. Sometimes, it is necessary to remove yourself from the situation, take a step back to allow you to calmly and rationally develop a plan of action.

What if you are running around like crazy, trying everything, with nothing working out for you? Well, you need to do the exact same thing I said above. You must take a breath, calm your fears and THINK! Begin using logic rather than emotion. All the action you have been taking is just wearing you down. It is also wearing your family down. It may take shutting down for awhile to give you a new perspective on the situation. I often use this when I have become overwhelmed with my work. Granted, I don’t have small children so it makes is easier for me to lock myself away. However, you can find ways to take time away from it all. Even if you just go to bed early one night, it may be just the break you need to clear your mind and approach your problems anew. When thinks become too much, talk to your spouse and arrange a break. Explain why you need it. You should be able to work out a plan that gives you the break you need.
Time is a valuable tool for you during difficult times. Use it wisely and to your advantage.

INGENUITY: When things are tight financially in your family, the one commodity you have an unlimited supply of is ingenuity. Your creativity is only limited by your imagination. This is a time to let your imagination run free. This is also the time to tap the creativity of your family, especially your children. Kids tend not to filter their ideas. They may not know what works and what doesn’t. While some of their ideas may be waaaaay out there, it is also possible you can take those way out ideas and mold them into workable ideas. Adults often become so frustrated and discouraged, we begin to believe there are no workable answers. This is a major cloud to our ability to think creatively. You will find, believe me, you WILL find your kids are an unlimited supply of ideas and suggestions. Present them with a problem, a challenge and ask them to come up with some solutions. Set a time to meet as a family where each child can present their ideas. Then, sit back and take notes. Decide on the most promising solution. If it needs work, work it out as a family.

As I said in an earlier post, you get maximum cooperation when everyone is invested in the project. If you have one malcontent, they will slow down if not halt the entire project. Learn to listen for discontent. Never brush it off. If someone doesn’t like an approach to a problem, dig deeper and find out why. Although I might seem to treat all this like a game, I am dead serious about the whole process. When things get tough financially for your family, it affects absolutely everyone in the family. You may think it affects you and your spouse more than your kids but when something bothers you, it bothers the entire family. Address any concerns no matter how minor they may seem to you. Use ingenuity to address problems, concerns, rewards and the future and see how quickly attitudes turn around for the entire family.